Well she’s fashionably lean
And she’s fashionably late
……
She won’t waste time on elementary talk
She’s a Twentieth Century Fox.
From Twentieth Century Fox, a song by The Doors.
The Doors were trying to talk of the 60s archetype of the American woman in this song. But to me, these lines strangely epitomize a character straight out of our lives: the ubiquitous servant maid.
Families, who have been subjected to the many moods of a servant maid, will readily accept my theory that she’s no ordinary human being. She is of a higher calibre who has mastered the ‘Navarasas’ as explained in Bharata’s Natyashastra. Consider this: She can move from Hasya (laughter) to Raudra (anger), within seconds, when her master denies her some extra cash. She can shower Karunya (compassion) if the child of the house is ill, and turn Bibhatsa (disgusted) within minutes, if the child doesn’t stop wailing. She will forever be in a state of Adbutha (amazement), when asked why she’s late.
Never ever judge her by her diminutive form. The Santa (peace) she shows at your home will explode into Vira (heroism) when the water lorry arrives in the street corner. To top it all, if she happens to be beautiful, husbands in many households seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. Her Sringara (love) has kindled many a husband’s fires. And if these men decide to stoke that fire, expect the maids (and the wives) to stoke up some Bhayanaka (horror) in return.
Like all other things in India
The Maidmoiselle
She is commonly found in households where you can’t tell the master from the servant. Subservient families are often attracted to these ‘Kutumb Raider’ women, whose motto is to serve and be served in return. That means, she’ll serve the family Kannan Devan tea and expect Earl Grey back, for her to savour.
The Bai-Bai Maid
‘Bai’ as they are known in the Hindi speaking belt, have the penchant for saying ‘bye’, and do the disappearing act quite often, which would put Harry Houdini to shame. Reasons may vary from the obvious – her husband’s drunken heroics, to the omnipresent – her kid feeling under the weather, to black humour – her husband and her paramour getting into fisticuffs and injuring her while at it.
The Hand Maid
No, she does not belong to the Congress party. The hand stands for what the party and the maid put into practice. The art of looting. You might have heard of hand-eye coordination in sport. Hand maids practice this at home. When an object of fancy meets her eye, her hands swiftly follow suit to pick it up without the knowledge of the inmates of the house.
The Maid who Made it
This one belongs to the creamy layer. She can speak English. She quotes her price, because she is Angrezi in her demeanour. Her salaries would be quoted and debated by her peers, just like how the rest of us discuss and denounce the skyrocketing salaries of IIM grads every year.
The Home Maid
The homes who have them are the fortunate ones. She sticks around at a place for a very long time, like a government employee. And in some cases, she continues to receive monetary help from her erstwhile employer in her old age, like government employees living on their pensions.
I’m sure there are many other stereotypes. But those have to be discussed another day. Because my maid is ringing the bell.
